13 Woman On Top Sex Positions, Plus 4 Tips From Sex ExpertsBehold, 13 other positions to try tonight.
Sometimes, you want to have sex standing up. Other times, you want to lie back and let your partner work their magic. On certain occasions, you crave a kinky position, or one that lets your partner go really (really) deep. Then, there are those moments when you just want ~all~ the control. Once those dominant feelings strike, there’s only one course of action to take: Get on top.
You enjoy a lot of versatility on top, says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, sexologist and author of The New Sex Bible. “If you’re an exhibitionist, you can play with [certain] fantasies while your body is in full view and also enjoy the many benefits of eye contact with your partner,” she explains. “You might use eye contact to enhance intimacy, convey desire and pleasure, or experiment with dominance and submission.”
What’s more? Many woman-on-top positions can lend themselves to more direct clitoral stimulation—and the clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings, BTW. Cowgirl, for example, offers a great amount of additional, clit-friendly friction, AASECT-certified sex therapist Donna Oriowo previously told Women’s Health. Getting on top also helps you control the depth and speed of penetration. “You can control the movement and your pleasure,” says Shawntres A. Parks, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a Women’s Health advisory board member.
In short, getting on top can be “empowering, fun, and intense,” says Oriowo. “And while there are some who believe ‘don’t fix it if it isn’t broken,’ I believe [you] can always up the ante on pleasure.”
But being on top doesn’t mean you have to default to Cowgirl. The following woman-on-top positions can help you get creative while riding your partner’s penis or strap-on, and plenty of these allow for additional stimulation like nipple play with your free hands or the inclusion of a vibrator.
Not sure where to start? Read on for expert-approved tips for a better experience on top.
How do I make the woman on top position work for me?
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There are three main issues that might contribute to women feeling uncomfortable on top, says Parks. “One is self-esteem,” she says. “On top, your partner has a pretty unobstructed view of your body and, for women who are suffering from body image issues or aren’t feeling confident, it can be uncomfortable.”
Another is lack of experience. “People don’t necessarily know what to do when they’re on top or how to move to create a pleasurable experience for themselves and/or their partner,” Parks says.
Woman on top positions also may not physically be comfortable for everyone, says O’Reilly, citing “pressure against your knees or cervix” as common issues.
To make your experience more physically comfortable, O’Reilly suggests making a few adjustments. “Put extra pillows beneath your knees or lean forward to support yourself using the headboard,” she says. You can also change angles to reduce pressure against your cervix, like leaning forward or turning around to face your partner’s feet (a lá Reverse Cowgirl). Even changing locations, like moving to a couch, where there’s more stability and things to grab onto can help, Parks says.
And if you're feeling self-conscious about your body (totally normal!), see if you can lean into those feel-good feelings that come with the agency of being on top. It might help you reframe those downer thoughts and allow you to embrace the moment and how beautiful you look and feel.
So you’ve determined you want full reign, but how do you actually get up there? For starters, you have to make a request. Be “direct and playful,” says Tyomi Morgan, certified sex coach and creator of The Cowgirl Workout. “Whispering phrases like ‘I want to ride you now,’ ‘Let me ride that [fill in the blank,]’ or ‘Please let me climb on top,’ express desire and are direct expressions,” she says. “Asking for what you want can sometimes feel nerve-wracking, but being clear about what you desire is the simplest way to [get it].” You can even say: “Baby, I want to get on top, are you good with that?” suggests Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist for Good Vibes.
As for actually getting into position, "there’s no right way," says O'Reilly, but there are a few things you can do to make it sexier. “You might hold your partner’s hands above their head while you mount them, or you might roll them over and climb aboard,” she explains.
If you like to use sex toys, you can reach down and make room for a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris while on top, suggests Debra Laino, PhD, an AASECT-certified sex educator, board-certified clinical sexologist, and relationship therapist based in Delaware. “Even big ol’ wands can easily fit between partners who are doing perpendicular positions (one raised up, one lying down),” says Queen. (Need some inspo? These toys all work great during partnered sex.)